So your communication skills seem to be growing like a wild fire these days! You are WELL aware how to shake your head "no", and you've even picked up some of the baby signs we've been doing! Today had 2 great examples of this.
You woke up around 6am this morning. Now, for normal 1 year-olds, that's not odd. Not so much for you. You tend to snooze until 7, or even 8 some days. But it was pretty convenient that you woke up early, as I had to be at work by 7:30. And when commuting from Linden to Manhattan, that takes some doin'. So I scooped you up, sang our good morning song, and changed your diaper. I then handed you to your half-asleep father, who was still in bed. It took me all of 5 minutes to finish getting ready. I came back in the room, expecting to find your squirming like crazy, and your daddy doing his best to hold on to you. Instead, I find the two of you curled up together under a blanket. It was getting late, and we had to get going. I offered my arms and said "up?". You quite adamantly shook your head "no". So I paused for a moment, thinking maybe it was just a fluke. I tried again - "up?" Your head shook "no" a second time, and then your turned away and closed your eyes. Needless to say, I took the car and drove myself to the bus this morning. Your daddy NEVER walks away from a cuddle nap.
When I got home tonight, we had play time. Your Grandma Dorothy bought you a neat little book made of foam that teaches colors. It even has little pop out shapes. So I sat on the floor of the living room and showed it to you. We went through each page (ok, there's only about 4...) saying the colors and what the pictures were. At the end of the book, you looked at me and signed "more". It was the first time you had used the sign outside the context of food! I was amazed! It completely showed that you were grasping the concept of "more" on a new level. Of course, we read the book again.
It is both way cool and way weird to watch you turn into a little person.
Tuesday 19 October 2010
Thursday 14 October 2010
Birthday Reflections - Part II
You were so small. Where did my baby go?
Nonsense. You'll always be my baby. Forever and ever.
I have so many wishes for you, Lily. So very many. I wish them everyday for you. I wish that you will always look at the world with new eyes. I wish that you'll always treat other people's hearts as you want yours to be treated. I wish that you will laugh everyday. I wish that you will always have a hand to hold. I wish that you always know the joy of loving, and being loved. I wish that you always do your best to make this world a better place. I wish for you to know that it's okay to cry when you want to cry. I wish for you to always dream big and shoot for the moon. I wish that your innocence will live forever somewhere in your heart. I wish for you to have your own sense of style and self. I wish you peace in your life. I wish that you too will one day know what a joy it is to have a daughter...
And the list goes on and on and on...
You are very lucky, you know. There's a lot of people out there who love you. You have no idea. I think most people don't realize just how many people love them, though. It's just the nature of humans to overlook the joy around them. We get too wrapped up in stuff that we think matters, but it doesn't really.
I love that you clap for things you like. I love that you try to do the hand movements to "itsy bitsy spider". I love your cuddles when you are tired. I love that your laughter is so contagious. I love that you try to zerbert my tummy like I do to yours. I love that you call both the cat and your father "da": I love that today you laughed so hard, you snorted. I love how you dance. I love that you'll sometimes look at me very thoughtfully, and then simply put your binky in my mouth. Afterwards, you always look like you've solved some huge problem.
You really are an amazing little girl.
I'd say I can't wait for the next year... but to be honest, I'm happy to let it pass by as slowly as possible.
Pleasant dreams, Lily.
See you in the morning.
Goodnight.
I love.you.
Nonsense. You'll always be my baby. Forever and ever.
I have so many wishes for you, Lily. So very many. I wish them everyday for you. I wish that you will always look at the world with new eyes. I wish that you'll always treat other people's hearts as you want yours to be treated. I wish that you will laugh everyday. I wish that you will always have a hand to hold. I wish that you always know the joy of loving, and being loved. I wish that you always do your best to make this world a better place. I wish for you to know that it's okay to cry when you want to cry. I wish for you to always dream big and shoot for the moon. I wish that your innocence will live forever somewhere in your heart. I wish for you to have your own sense of style and self. I wish you peace in your life. I wish that you too will one day know what a joy it is to have a daughter...
And the list goes on and on and on...
You are very lucky, you know. There's a lot of people out there who love you. You have no idea. I think most people don't realize just how many people love them, though. It's just the nature of humans to overlook the joy around them. We get too wrapped up in stuff that we think matters, but it doesn't really.
I love that you clap for things you like. I love that you try to do the hand movements to "itsy bitsy spider". I love your cuddles when you are tired. I love that your laughter is so contagious. I love that you try to zerbert my tummy like I do to yours. I love that you call both the cat and your father "da": I love that today you laughed so hard, you snorted. I love how you dance. I love that you'll sometimes look at me very thoughtfully, and then simply put your binky in my mouth. Afterwards, you always look like you've solved some huge problem.
You really are an amazing little girl.
I'd say I can't wait for the next year... but to be honest, I'm happy to let it pass by as slowly as possible.
Pleasant dreams, Lily.
See you in the morning.
Goodnight.
I love.you.
First Birthday Reflections - Part I
A year ago today, I learned just how big love can be. It is overwhelming, and I don't think that there are words that can do it justice. Certainly none that I know. But the moment I saw your face, it washed over me like an ocean. It was like going underwater, and realizing that you can breathe just fine there. And it's not something that you get used to, or that calms over time. It holds me every day and night, and I am constantly aware of the sheer size of it. It is something that is living. But living is the wrong word... it is something that is more than living. It is what makes the soul whole.
A year ago today, I heard your cry for the first time. I felt your skin on mine for the first time. I met your gaze for the first time. I fed you milk for the first time. I watched you sleep for the first time. I kissed your forehead for the first time.
A year ago today, I learned what a mother's worry truly is. What I scoffed at as a teenager, became something new to me in an instant. A mother's worry is not the anxiety of one woman for her child. A mother's worry is collective anxiety of all mother's for all children. In an instant every news story became personal.
My beautiful Lilybug, you are a year old today. The poem states that "Wednesday's child is full of woe", and you are anything but. You laugh everyday the minute I walk into your room. You clap and dance. There hasn't been a single day yet without some joy.
A lot has happened in the year that you came into our lives - some good, some bad. It has been a year of a lot of ups and downs. There might be a lot to be learned from all that's gone on, but to be honest, I'm not really sure. The only thing that comes to mind when I look back is a line from Muppets Take Manhattan (yes, even the muppets can offer sagely advice) - "peoples is peoples". If I am able to teach you anything in life, my Bug, I hope that that is it. There are wars and killings happening all over the world because of religion. There are kids committing suicide because they are gay. There are families torn apart (including our own) just because someone can't accept who another person is - whether it be their faith, sexual orientation, or simple personality flaw. Our differences are what allow us to grow as spirits. They are what give us perspective. I think it's the prime reason I love to argue. And it's okay to argue, Lily - just do it with an open ear and reasoning mind. And in the end, there's nothing wrong in agreeing to disagree. And you should embrace the fact that someone else sees the world in a different way. It's a good thing.
But it's sad that it tears people apart. Because it doesn't have to.
I'm not a perfect person. I'm certainly not a perfect mom. But I can offer you the certainty that I will always love you. I can promise that I will always listen when you argue, in hopes that it will teach you to do the same. I will give to you all that I have, my daughter. But it's up to you how you apply it.
Happy first birthday, Lilybug. Thank you for the greatest gift in the world - being your mom. I love you.
They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
A year ago today, I heard your cry for the first time. I felt your skin on mine for the first time. I met your gaze for the first time. I fed you milk for the first time. I watched you sleep for the first time. I kissed your forehead for the first time.
A year ago today, I learned what a mother's worry truly is. What I scoffed at as a teenager, became something new to me in an instant. A mother's worry is not the anxiety of one woman for her child. A mother's worry is collective anxiety of all mother's for all children. In an instant every news story became personal.
My beautiful Lilybug, you are a year old today. The poem states that "Wednesday's child is full of woe", and you are anything but. You laugh everyday the minute I walk into your room. You clap and dance. There hasn't been a single day yet without some joy.
A lot has happened in the year that you came into our lives - some good, some bad. It has been a year of a lot of ups and downs. There might be a lot to be learned from all that's gone on, but to be honest, I'm not really sure. The only thing that comes to mind when I look back is a line from Muppets Take Manhattan (yes, even the muppets can offer sagely advice) - "peoples is peoples". If I am able to teach you anything in life, my Bug, I hope that that is it. There are wars and killings happening all over the world because of religion. There are kids committing suicide because they are gay. There are families torn apart (including our own) just because someone can't accept who another person is - whether it be their faith, sexual orientation, or simple personality flaw. Our differences are what allow us to grow as spirits. They are what give us perspective. I think it's the prime reason I love to argue. And it's okay to argue, Lily - just do it with an open ear and reasoning mind. And in the end, there's nothing wrong in agreeing to disagree. And you should embrace the fact that someone else sees the world in a different way. It's a good thing.
But it's sad that it tears people apart. Because it doesn't have to.
I'm not a perfect person. I'm certainly not a perfect mom. But I can offer you the certainty that I will always love you. I can promise that I will always listen when you argue, in hopes that it will teach you to do the same. I will give to you all that I have, my daughter. But it's up to you how you apply it.
Happy first birthday, Lilybug. Thank you for the greatest gift in the world - being your mom. I love you.
They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
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